Happy Birthday, Little Munchkins!!!

So, this is a post I have kind of put off (eeeeek- 2 months since I posted!!!!), but I just really wanted to live in the moments of this past September... it was a great time for reflection for me, and I honestly just didn't know exactly what to say.  It was a month of great celebration as Ms. Maggie celebrated her first birthday, but also so surreal: I looked through my stash of birthday ideas and found all the adorable 'triplet moments' I had dreamt of having as my threesome rounded this significant birthday.  I got to thinking about how things had been a year ago that month, how different it had been from those 'triplet dreams' I had once had.  I also thought through the strength and love the surrounded us around that time.  All the hands that held us together and lifted us up, as we lifted two of our little ones to their cozy heavenly home and followed our little tiger to St. Louis where she continued her fight.  Lots of thoughts and emotions those 4 weeks of that month, but these are the beautiful moments from September 2014 I want to treasure to celebrate the first year with our munchkins.  As always, a little individual celebration of each little munchkin on their first birthday....

Happy Angel Birthday, Jack Michael!!

September 7, 2014

{the first time I saw my little man}

{the last time I saw my little man... saying goodbye for now on your Angel Birthday}

{celebrating your Angel Birthday... Lantern Style;)}

Wow, my son... we had so much fun belting out in song as we let your lantern go.  What a beautiful night for celebration of your angel birthday.  You were the second Lee boy to steal my heart.  From the first time I saw you on that ultrasound (oh man you made your Daddy so proud, seeing his first son on that screen;)) to the first time I saw your handsome self all nestled in your bed- you got me, little guy!  Such a handsome and perfect mix of traits between your Daddy and I.  You may have been the most petite of our trio, but your broad shoulders showed we you were all boy.  I feel so blessed to be your Mommy: you had quite a struggle coming into this world, but you fought HARD to give us beautiful moments with you and for THAT I am eternally grateful.  On your birthday, I celebrate your rock star qualities and your energy.  Thank you for being the baby who would always initiate the antics in my belly... what fun was it to play by yourself??  You were always so willing to wake your sisters up to play back- I loved that!  Thank you for the beautiful memories.  I love you so much and am proud of the beautiful little guy you are; wish every day you were here, especially on your birthday, but I'm sure you enjoyed quite a celebration in a far more beautiful place.

Happy Angel Birthday, Nora Kathryn!!

September 15, 2014

{the first time I saw my beautiful girl}

{the last moments I spent with you before you joined your brother}

{a lantern to fly high in the sky...what a light you are, sweet girl}

Little Sweetheart.  You have always been a little girl after my heart.  I don't know if it was because you looked just like me, but I felt a crazy bond with you from the very beginning.  That head full of tiny curls got me every day as well as all the goofy positions you maneuvered yourself in; made me smile so much.  Your personality was apparent from day 1: you were your brother and sister's keeper- the fixer of the group.  Your brother was in trouble and you decided it was time to meet this scary world.  Your parents were crumbling after watching your brother go to Heaven and so you gave us incredibly, beautiful moments to hold and treasure the miracle you were.  Lastly, the most favorite position for me to hold my babies- curled up on my chest- was how you let me hold you for hours as you left this earth.  Thank you for the peace you gave your Daddy and I that day.  You have an amazing strength and I know that in death, you have continued to help your siblings.  You are there with Jack which to me is a beautiful thought- my babies never alone and I KNOW you and your brother have been Maggie's guardian angels through all the challenges she has faced- Maggie is one lucky girl.  Letting your lantern go this year was so beautiful, but I couldn't help but ache to see your beautiful self again.  I love you so very much, sweetheart.  I'm sure your birthday was as beautiful as you.

Happy HAPPY Birthday, Margaret Cloe!!

September 4, 2014

{oh-so-tiny, especially with all the needles and wires, but the fiercest of fighters from the very beginning...}

{...now my incredibly happy, blue-eyed baby girl- love every moment with you, sweet girl}

Oh.  My.  Goodness.  If someone told me in the middle of September last year that we would be celebrating a first birthday with a spunky, energetic, and incredibly happy baby Maggie I would have been speechless.  My little miracle baby, you have come so far.  I am in awe every day of the beautiful little girl you have become.  A spitting image of your grandmother, you carry her confidence and incredible ferocity.  You are a fighter and the strongest human being I have ever met- I am honored to be your mother.  I know I am stealing a bit of your Daddy's birthday message to you, but I feel he said it best:

"About this time of day, 1 year ago, my hero was born. Margaret Cloe Lee was born at a whooping 1 lb. 3 oz. We knew from the get go that Maggie was a fighter. She came out swinging.

She is my hero... below are a few reasons why:

Born a full 4 months early
2 Level 4 brain bleeds, left & right side
Stopped breathing countless times
Heart stopped a few times
Survived a bout of NEC (which is a really bad infection)
Had Heart Surgery
Eye Surgery... on both eyes
Abdominal cavity cut open and drains installed... twice
Multiple blood infections
Multiple blood transfusions
Lived on pain reliever that is 400x stronger than Morphine... for 5 months
Hooked up to ventilators... for months on end
And had to lose her brother and sister in the process

This little girl, who turned 1 today, has survived more hardship than most people will have to deal with in their entire lives. She has gone through all of this, and continues to laugh and smile as a very happy baby. Yeah, she may have a few challenges that she is dealing with, but I have no doubt this girl will give it hell to get over them.

Happy Birthday, Maggie. You have made your Mom & Dad so proud in your first year with us. I'm sure your brother and sister are watching over and are very proud, too.

Love,
Dad"

Thank you, Maggie for giving us so much hope over this past year.  You have taught your Daddy and I so much, and we cannot help but fall in love with you all over again each and every day.  You are a one-of-a-kind blessing and we truly feel so blessed that you are ours.  You keep roaring baby girl... cheers to many MANY birthdays to come!!!

To each of my munchkins: Happy, Happy, Happy Birthday!!!  You all are my angels and celebrating all that you have been to us this year left me speechless.  You have given us more gifts than we ever thought possible.  What an INCREDIBLE first year you all have had... I love you.