Getting Our Ducks in a Row...

I am so apprehensive to even begin this post as I am still trying to let it all sink in that our journey is inching closer to the next chapter...

As this week goes on, we are learning more than ever about all that is going on with Maggie and what "home life" will be like.  I know I have been anxiously awaiting these moments with her doctors and nurses for some time now, but honestly... it seems surreal- like wait, we're not actually getting READY to go home with her, right?!

A quick update on Little Miss:

She is doing well with her bottles; she took her first full one last night, and today I got to feed her, her second full bottle- so cool!  She is a crazy eater and is showing all good signs of being ready and eager to eat by bottle- love it!  They are continuing to wean her oxygen and she is down to .3 liters which is wonderful and she seems comfortable.  Her bowel issues have cleared themselves and the only remaining issue is a hernia where one of the drains was previously placed.  We will come back when she is bigger for that surgery as it doesn't seem to bother her much and surgery likes babies bigger;).  Her eyes are doing pretty well; the ROP is at bay right now although there is still a little blood in her eye it's nothing concerning at this time.

With that being said, everyone is gearing up for her departure from St. Louis Children's Hospital sometime within the first couple weeks of February.  We are so excited yet freaking out a smidge;).... just so much swirling around in my head right now!

"Thanks for visiting me, Nana", squeaks Maggie:).

I promise she really does open her eyes... it's just during those times I am gabbing away and we're 'getting to know each other' and I never think of snapping pics- those peepers do open- I promise;)

It's crazy... I sit back and think through this journey and I always just prayed for the next hurdle and for God to give me just one more day with my little ones.  I had no idea what the future held and maybe as a way to protect myself, I just thought on small terms- "oh how amazing it will be to see her little peepers", "holding her will be a dream", "I'm pretty sure I'll be grinning ear to ear just to give her a bottle", but now we're talking about her LEAVING St. Louis, leaving in a car with JUST Pete and I, and going HOME with JUST us.... I mean, are they for REAL that they think we're capable of this;)?!?!

So ya.... that's about where my brain has been much of this week.  But when I stop 'totally freakin' out man' I just about start crying... what an amazing miracle we have been given and the rest of my life will be spent appreciating life so much more than I ever did before.  Friends rock.  Family is a precious gift. And prayer is an unbelievable source of strength.  I have learned so much these past 5 months and am eternally grateful for the village (ok, let's be real- the cities;)) that have helped us and lifted up our family, carrying us through this crazy time.  

I know that this journey is not soon over.  It's not over when we sign discharge papers.  It's not over when we say our emotional good byes or even over when we walk with that carseat through the door of our home, but somehow knowing my family will be sleeping all under ONE roof for the first time since September makes me melt- I am READY for this next chapter.  Sign me up for it all: the sleepy midnight feeds, the messy house, the big-sister adjustment (who knows how that's going to go;)), and the beautiful exhaustion of being a family altogether again... I can't wait.

Here goes nothing- lets get those ducks in a row and work towards the best gift ever.... giving baby girl her PERMANENT address of Bentonville, AR....