A Perfect Gift

It has been an eventful week with Lil Miss Maggie and Harper.  Daddy has been in Bentonville with work and Mommy has been 'manning the cave' ;).  The girls have kept me BUSY!  I sit down to do an update and usually scroll through pictures of our family time trying to pick a few choice pictures, but this time there was no choosing- there were only a couple- goodness!  Yes, I think I am beginning to learn what life with two little ones is going to be like- not much rest let alone a moment to snap pictures!  

Of course there are always heartbeats and hiccups...

Heartbeat

Pete & I had a discharge meeting this week with the teams that have cared for Maggie during our time in St. Louis.  We went through the MRI results of her brain, discussed the possibilities for her future, and discussed those things that will be necessary when we are home.  It all-in-all was a nice meeting but I know for me as her mother, going over what she has suffered through was tough.  In these types of meetings there are so many numbers and statistics but nothing is set in stone.  Maggie is Maggie and even though some crazy things have happened in her young life I know deep down she has tremendous potential and we will do whatever we can to make sure she feels loved, encouraged, and respected her whole life.

Slight Hiccup

Maggie was off oxygen for almost a whole day, but baby girl got tired and just wasn't eating as well.  They put her oxygen back on and although it is a teeny tiny amount, it is making a difference and she is back eating well and gaining weight and that's ultimately what we care about.  

As I mentioned before, bottle feeding for a preemie is an exhausting and slow process for the little ones.  Maggie is taking bottles and breast feeding very well, but she gets tired quickly.  Although she continues to increase her volume it is slow.  With that being said, we have also decided it would be ok to take her home with the feeding tube.  Our hope is that when we are at home, on our own schedule, that she will get rest she needs to increase her stamina for taking more and more bottles;).

Bottom line: Ms Maggie will go home with a few 'accessories' as I call them, but she is comfortable and growing with them so we will be ok adjusting to them for a little while;)...

GREATEST HEARTBEAT EVER....

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Our little miracle will be exactly 5 months old.

Our baby girl will be going HOME!

We cannot believe we're in the last couple weeks of our time in St. Louis, but our little one seems more than ready to see what Arkansas is all about.  We cannot be more excited for all the crazy chaos, learning, and next stage of our life with all 6 of us back in the same county- we're thrilled!

We look forward to doing lots of this- minus the yellow gowns ;)....

...and even more of this- "burp for Daddy" ;)

I am beyond excited to take her home, but this past week has brought so many emotions.  I guess I just always anticipated this all to be different.  I haven't spent more than a couple nights at a time in our Bentonville house since the babies were born and I dunno.... I'm so nervous to be back inside those 4 walls trying to 'pick up where we left off' as I don't really know how to do that.  Everything has been so busy-busy since the little ones came into our world and our focus has always been on our family- going through the motions, sticking together, while hoping and praying there would be a happy ending.  

Well- that happy ending is upon us and I find myself teary again.  It's a mixture of tremendous gratitude for all the blessings in our life but also of sorrow as I continue to grieve the physical loss of my angel babies.  I know I'll see them when I look at Maggie.  I know I'll see them when I think through all beautiful moments I did have with them.  I know I will miss them.  Missing them is so hard some days. How do you keep going through those down days?  I honestly have no idea, but I do know I'll continue to put one foot in front of the other and find happiness and joy in the blessings around me.  So while this Mommy deals with the swirl of emotions, I know that our little family cannot ask for anything more than being able to walk out of that hospital with Maggie- it is truly a miracle...

and honestly the most perfect gift.

Happy 5-Month Birthday Baby Girl & Welcome Home;)... we're almost there!!