I Am Grateful...

Thanksgiving 2013

I am Grateful....

I am grateful for love.

I am grateful for faith.

I am grateful for family.

I am grateful for friends.

I am grateful for the journey that is life.

Usually I spend Thanksgiving with those I love, some years with family, others with friends, but always together, enjoying yummy food and a day to kick back and relax (after the cooking of course;)).  Of COURSE, this year was different.  Yes, I was with family.  Yes, I enjoyed yummy food.  But the relaxing part just wasn't there as much (and let me tell you it wasn't for sake of trying;)).  I LOVED being with my family and oh MAN... just being back home with my siblings was so wonderful.... there was just something missing.  

I have been saying that having a little one in the hospital through the holidays would be kind of fun in its own way: new and fun holiday activities, little faster pace to help get through this part faster.... and those things ARE true, don't get me wrong... it's just so different.  So different than I anticipated or WANTED for my family for that matter.

Bottom line: I'm missing my lil family of 6 this holiday season.  As time wears on I struggle with forgetting their smell and the way they looked, Nora so squirmy in her issolette and the way Jack felt squeezing my finger.  I miss not being able to hold them and celebrate these first holidays with them.... the way we were suppose to.  It's so silly and selfish of me as I know the blessings are immense for us this holiday season, I am just having a hard time with the "first holidays" without all my children.  I know they're right here with us as we decorate the tree, see Santa, enjoy a family meal, and root Maggie along as she kicks butt and takes names;), but I just miss them... and it seems especially hard during this time of year.

So yes... I am so grateful for ALL the blessings of this past year, even though two of the biggest ones just happen to be cuddling up in Heaven;). 

I am grateful for...

Amazing friends for Harper....

And amazing friends for me....

...a few of which who were able to enjoy our Pre-Thanksgiving meal;).  I am Grateful.

I know I didn't get to visit with all of our Bentonville 'family', but I cannot wait to be back for REAL soon and give you each a HUGE hug for supporting us through our crazy!

I am grateful for my little angel babies... and my wonderful husband for making their monument look so pretty for the holiday season!

I am grateful for little sister who decided to rock it in a big-girl crib this Thanksgiving!

I am grateful for family... the endless amounts of patience they have with Harper drawing pictures...

....making gingerbread houses....

...and being ok cutting loose with their nerd of an older sister;).  I am grateful.

I am grateful to my little babies and the impact they have had on others, including my youngest sister, Anna, who gave a heart warming speech in front of her high school student body this past week, highlighting all of the blessings within the tragedy of infant loss.

Thank you Anna for standing up among all those people, representing all that is beautiful in this otherwise painful story... thank you:)

I am grateful for family and the amazing thing that is faith.  We have always associated a heart with lil Maggie as it was the shape that formed on her issolette the evening she was born.  We missed her this Thanksgiving, as we drove to Indianapolis to share the meal with family... but she showed us that she WAS with us: while my mom was peeling potatoes, she found this potato in the bag... it was shaped like a heart.  It didn't become mashed potatoes that day, but instead part of the symbolism of the day....

...we have so much to be grateful for....

I hope you all enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving week!